Eye Has Not Seen

I wish I had time to tell you all the incredible, glorious things that have happened with my new job in the last several weeks. The truth is, I should not be blogging at all because I'm in the crazy crunch time before the first day of school this Monday. But I just have to share my joy with you. So for once, I'll keep it short. (Really!) 

Remember how crushed I was when I didn't get a job at the high school where I taught last semester? God had given me an assurance that His plan for me was so much better than what I wanted for myself. In my last entry I shared the beautiful story of the job He dropped in my lap. That was only the beginning.


This school is like no other I've ever encountered, and I've seen a lot of them through subbing in two districts. I've never seen so many fervent Christian teachers and administrators in one place. I have been warmly welcomed into a very tight-knit, supportive family. I already have multiple mentors--both for my teaching practice and for my walk with God. We've laughed and cried together, and they've been helpful in very practical ways.

I love my classroom, with its high ceiling and a wall of windows overlooking the community garden (and a Dumpster).

Yes, those are chalkboards, just like the ones I used 20 years ago! I have three walls of chalkboards and no whiteboard. But do you see that black cart in the background of the bottom picture? That's a full class set of Chrome Book laptops. How awesome is that? There are definitely benefits to working in a Title 1 (low income) school; we can get plenty of funding and grants for technology and whatever else we need. I'm so excited to incorporate our robust toolkit of educational software into my lessons.

I've been mostly on cloud nine for the last month, but I did have a mini meltdown on Thursday because I was overwhelmed by all the things I'll have to keep up with on the job, and with all the things I still needed to do to get ready for my students--including my lesson plans for the first week. I absolutely had not had time to do them because of all the excellent professional development classes I'd been taking. To make matters worse, my classroom was an absolute rat's nest.

On Thursday, I got teary in front of several of my colleagues because of my anxiety, and I felt so humiliated even though no one was anything but supportive. I confided to my mentor, Ms. M, that I kind of wanted to go back to working in my bedroom in my slippers. She held  both of my rather snotty hands and prayed for me, and then she wrote out several truths for me to meditate on when the enemy tells me I can't do this job.

"No, I can do this. I will do this. God is on my side. I am victorious.... This is challenging me and growing me. God has equipped me"

Ms. M drew a circle labeled Comfort Zone, with an arrow pointing to another circle labeled Awesomeness. She gently reminded me that I'd have to leave my slippers and my comfy, safe bedroom behind in order to complete the mission God has called me to. "You have to leap out of your comfort zone. You have to take the leap."

"Yes," I said, still sniffling. I thought of leaping off the little cliff at the lake about four years ago, and how I'd felt that that was a precursor to a much bigger leap in the spiritual realm. Now I've arrived at the bigger cliff.

Cliff at Inks Lake

Although I felt a surge of gratitude to my new friend and to God for bringing her into my life, I still felt a bit anxious for the rest of the day. But after I had cried it out in my prayer closet and gotten a good sleep, I felt much calmer and ready to tackle my disheveled classroom the next morning. I woke up realizing that I had momentarily lost sight of the reason I decided to do this crazy thing, and I praised God all the way to work. Once again, I could feel an intense love for these students I had not even met. Yes, I certainly will fail sometimes. That's where my greatest growth will occur. I know God will never fail me, though. Even if I never see it in this life, I believe I'm going to impact generations.

This morning, I met with a couple dozen (30? 40?) teachers, administrators, a police officer, and pastors from the three surrounding churches for a prayer walk around our campus. At each of seven strategic, symbolic spots, our principal read a Bible verse and led us in prayer, and then he gave us an opportunity to share verses and prayers. Most of us  had one or more verses or prayers to share, but no one seemed to be in a hurry. We prayed for over an hour and a half, but it felt like 15 minutes. We prayed, cried, shouted, held hands, sang Great is Thy Faithfulness, and spoke life over our teachers, our students, and the community. We ended by laying hands on our principal and his family and praying blessings and anointing over them.

I cannot express my joy and humility over the privilege of joining this group of world changers. It brings to mind a favorite verse:

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

When God told me six weeks ago that He had better plans for me, I believed Him, yet I could never have imagined just how good those plans would be. Although I know my job will not be easy, I have no doubt that the best is yet to come for me and my students. I will give Him all the glory even now, because in His timeline it is already done. Hallelujah!!

P.S. Mom spent several hours with me today, and we whipped that classroom into shape. Tomorrow we will do a bit of decorating and call it done. I finished my lesson plans tonight, so all I have left to do is make my seating charts. Whew!

P.S.S. On my first work day a week ago, Allyson worked in my classroom for 13 hours straight, even while I was in meetings. She has also been helping me with lesson plans and moral support. I am so blessed.