Blessed One

I can't believe I'm halfway through the fourth week of school already. Then again, in some ways it seems like it's been longer than that. Just like last semester, teaching has been a roller coaster. I've been treasuring up so many stories in my heart to share with you, but tonight I (sort of) have time for just an overview and one story.

Here are the pros:

• I still love my kids. All of them. Even the tough class. Even the ones who get on my last nerve. God has knit my heart together with theirs. 
• I have the most supportive colleagues imaginable. They help me, check on me, pray with me, laugh with me, and cry with me. 
• We have two weekly prayer meetings, both on Wednesday (AM and PM). I go to both, with bells on. Today we waged spiritual warfare after work. We spoke prophetically over our students, teachers, and leadership. We claimed our school for the kingdom of light, and we rejoiced that "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." We recognize that the enemy is fighting us on many fronts, but we know the battle is God's and the victory is ours. We expect glorious things at our campus this year. 
• When I accepted this job, I was prepared to love my 130 students. What I never considered is that many of them would love me back. Already, I have many students who greet me with wide smiles (or shy ones), fist bumps (or elbow bumps when their hands are wet after rushing out of the bathroom), and warm hugs. A few of them visit my classroom multiple times a day, and I always tell them I need a hug. 
• When I get frustrated, my students remind me that I am blessed, just as I asked them to on our first day. I've also overheard them calling each other blessed.

Had to buy this shirt. My kids love it.
I've even heard them telling other kids about it.

• Every day, I have the privilege to speak life over my kids. I talk to them about destiny, vision, and purpose. I send them off each day with an assignment to "go change the world."  

My sister Emily made this beautiful sign for me.
(I switched the L and the R before I hung it over the door.)

• Through all of my struggles, I am growing as a teacher and as a believer. I'm spending a lot more time in prayer, praying for wisdom and anointing and lifting up my students by name. I realized just today that my relationship with God has changed from Father to Daddy. When I cry, He holds me. When I feel like a failure, He tells me He's proud of me. More than ever, He is my Beloved. 

Now, the cons:

• This job is ridiculously hard. All of the planning, grading, emails, and paperwork sometimes make me feel that I'm not cut out for this. I work nearly every evening plus a good portion of the weekend, but I still can't catch up. That's not good for my mind or my body.
• I can't seem to get used to a 46-minute class period. I struggle to manage our time, and we don't get nearly as much done as I plan to do. That means I have to cut things from our lessons, and it's really hard to figure out what to cut because it's all important. 
• Because of my planning period schedule, I have teach five periods in a row--during the afternoon when kids get squirrely. I can't go to the bathroom for over four hours. I often forget to drink water. 
• There are continual interruptions all day, every day. Aiyee!!!
• When my classes get especially rowdy, I struggle with that old feeling of inadequacy. Sometimes I cry all the way through my 50-minute commute home. But then I remember that I am not doing this on my own. With God, all things are possible. And I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. 

Okay, so here's the one story I have to share. On the first or second day, a young man captured my heart. He may have been snowing me, but he was wonderfully respectful and helpful. I laboriously translated a note into Spanish and emailed his mother, but the next day he told me he didn't think she'd gotten it. Before I had a chance to print it out and hand it to him, he ended up in suspension for fighting in the bathroom. I was shocked. Not sweet Hugo!*

The next day, I hand carried Hugo's work to ISS (In School Suspension) and spent a couple of minutes explaining what he needed to do. I gave him a printout of my complimentary email and told him I figured his mom could use a bit of good news about him right about now. I said I missed having him in class and said I hoped he'd make wise choices so that he could return soon. He beamed. 

When he saw me the second day, he was grinning before I said a word. I praised him for the work he had completed and reiterated that I missed him and wanted him back in class.

On the day that he returned, he greeted me with a wide smile but then proceeded to start an altercation with another student. I had to step between them and plead with Hugo to think about the choice he was making. "You just got out," I said in what I hoped was in a soothing voice. "You don't want to go right back in." After a few belligerent threats, he backed down.

The next day, he was transferred to a different period. "Why did you change my schedule, Miss?" he demanded. "I liked the other class better." 

"I didn't change your schedule," I said. "But I think I know what may have happened. I was praying last night over the situation with you and Mario*. I was concerned that you might get in a fight, and I didn't want either of you to get hurt. I think you were meant to switch to this class. This is a better class for you anyway. You'll do much better in here."

"But I liked the other class better," he said, pouting. 

"Hugo, I'm so thankful that you got to stay with me instead of being switched to another teacher," I said. He turned his head, but not before I saw his crooked smile.

A couple of days later, when I was feeling particularly vexed with him because he would not stay in his seat and work with his own group, he told me he had made me something. "It came out really ugly," he said. "But I still want you to have it."

"Hugo, if you made it, I'm sure I will love it. Is it going to make me cry?"

"I hope not!" he said.

"I cry when I'm happy," I explained.

He shrugged. "You can't show anyone," he said, sliding a notebook paper out of his binder and holding it to his chest. 

I held the paper out of view of his group mates. "Hugo!" I exclaimed. "This is beautiful! Thank you so much! Please can I hang it up?"

"Only if you fold it so my name doesn't show," he said.

That's our Cougar mascot

I didn't cry until I was on the way home. Oh yes, I am the Blessed One. 

*Names changed to protect privacy.