God has told me to rest right now, and I am. I slept beautifully last night but still need more rest. However, this morning He told me that it is important to go ahead and translate the story to English because of a woman I met yesterday named Rushanda. She is going to be looking on this blog. Very soon I will post a video of our conversation yesterday. It is a message for all people who struggle with anxiety....
Anyway, here is the translation, done mostly by Google translate. It is sloppy, but no importa. I am no longer a perfectionist, and this story needs to be told.
Do you know how people say "literally" when, in truth, they mean figuratively? For example, "I was literally at the end of my rope"? This is not such a time.
On Tuesday, three days ago, God literally moved a mountain for me, to move another mountain out of my life.
For many weeks before my trip to Costa Rica, my boyfriend Juan had been praying about my fears. He told me, "It is not God's will that you be afraid."
I told him, "My insecurities are a part of my personality, I always struggle with anxiety when stressful things happen, but all is well, God helps me every time, I meditate on the promises in His Word, and God calms me down."
Juan did not agree. Although I was too proud to admit it, I knew Juan was right. Secretly, I asked myself, "How could God free me from my fear?"
One day, this verse touched my heart: "Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, be removed into the sea, and will not doubt in his heart, but believe that what he says will be done, whatever he says. It will be done." (Mark 11:23)
I said, "My mountain is fear, please, Father, move the fear mountain of my life."
Still, I thought, "How is that possible?"
The night before my trip, Juan prayed, "On this trip, remove from Sarah all fear, all of her fears, make her a brave and strong woman, a warrior."
"Yes, yes," I prayed. But again, I asked myself, "How?"
During my time here, at least three miracles have occurred. I'm not exaggerating. Miracles. Plural. Because of the greatest, my friend Sophia in China gave Jesus her heart last Sunday. I'm going to tell that story later. It was incredible. From these miracles, Sophia and I learned that for God, everything is possible, and God has control over everything.
Because of that, I believed that my insecurities had stopped. I felt loved and safe. Only a struggle could confirm if now I was not a slave of fear.
On Monday, Macha's daughter, Viki, visited us for a while after dinner. She and I listen to songs from our youth. "What is your favorite?" she asked me.
"I do not know," I replied. I searched for an old song on YouTube, but found another one: "Dust in the Wind" by the group Kansas. I listened several times. How beautiful!
On the next morning, Tuesday, June 25, 2019, I was sitting in my favorite place: a bench on the porch. There I can hear songs of the birds and look at flowers and butterflies.
This place is also the border of my wifi access. Sometimes I can listen to songs on YouTube, and sometimes not. This morning, the Internet was working. I wanted to listen to this song that God sent me in one of the miracles I mentioned before:
Psalm 16-Fullness of Joy by Shane and Shane
Instead, this one caught my interest:
Psalm 46-Lord of Hosts by Shane and Shane
I had never seen it, and I wanted to hear it because the phrase "Lord of Hosts" reminded me of my childhood, when we read the Bible in the King James version (similar to the Reina-Valera version).
How powerful and anointed, this song! I heard three or four times before walking to the bus stop. These lines touched my heart:
The mountains move towards the sea,
... I know my God is in control
However, I soon forgot the song because my day was full of fun. It was my first day working as a volunteer in a center for seniors. (Later, I'll tell that other story.)
The best part was singing karaoke. I sang Hotel California in English and Spanish. My classmates and the seniors enjoyed my songs a lot and wanted another song, but there was not enough time. The man who had brought the karaoke program asked me, "Choose another song in English for Thursday."
After a few moments, I replied, "Dust in the Wind ... Polvo en el Viento."
He promised to find the song.
Later, on the bus, I thought about the lyrics of the song:
All my dreams ... Everything we do ... Everything we are ... All they are is dust in the wind ... just a drop of water in an endless sea
Although the message was wise, I did not agree with one line: "Nothing lasts forever except the earth and the sky."
Maybe my subconscious mind remembered the song of the morning. "The earth will not last forever," I thought. "The earth can be moved, and at the end of time it will be a new heaven and a new earth; only God lasts forever, only God never changes."
When I get to my house on the mountain, I forgot this song too. After a day of total immersion in Spanish, I was beginning to think in Spanish. I could easily converse with Macha. That's why we were able to talk a lot about the pregnancy of my sister Emily and her beautiful daughters, Hillary and Savannah.
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| Hillary, Emily, Savannah |
When we finally went to bed, the time was almost 10:30, much later than our normal time; Dawn arrives at 5 in the morning here.
After Macha's (short) shower, I showered and then sat on my bed. I was talking to my friend Phyllis on Facebook Messenger. [She lives in California, 3 hours earlier than our time zone in Costa Rica.]
A few minutes later, I heard such a strange noise. Two or three seconds later, the same noise follows. I asked myself, "What is it? There was never a noise like this."
The best description I can give is the noise of a cork when it is removed from a bottle of wine, but much stronger. The noise definitely occurred outside. Was there a person outside my window? There was no one I can ask; none was awake, only me.
A few seconds later, while we still exchanged messages, I felt vibrations in my bed. "How strange!"
The bed slid back and forth across the floor, moving perhaps a few millimeters. The legs of the bed danced on the floor, and the bed rotated a tiny bit. I did not understand what was happening until the bed began to shake up and down, rattling on the floor. At the same time, I noticed that the whole house was swaying from one side to the other as if there was a strong wind. But the air was completely still.
Immediately, while the bed is still shaking, I wrote this message to Phyllis:
We are having an earthquake ...
My bed is shaking ...
Lord Jesus protects us ...
It feels minor.
An earthquake! I could not believe it. In my city, I remembered only one tiny earthquake; I had felt a delicate vibration for only a second.
Gradually, the tremors weakened until they faded to occasional small twitches.
I sent Juan several messages. I told him I was safe and I loved him and I missed him. Asked him to pray for us and others who might be injured. I knew he was sleeping because it was an hour later in Texas.
Then, I sent a message to a lot of my other loved ones:
I told them not to worry because the earthquake was minor; We still had Internet, and I thought it was a good sign. I also said that I thought it might have been a stronger earthquake farther away from us. I thought that we had experienced only an aftershock.
My friend and roommate Kim responded. She said the earthquake had happened in Panama. "Thank God," I thought. "Far."
I started to pray for the people in Panama.
I still did not know that Costa Rica shares a border with Panama, and this border is very close, less than 100 miles (161 kilometers).
After a few minutes on Google, I realized that the earthquake had not been minor, nor had it been far.
The event occurred at 11:23 p.m. local time. The epicenter was just inside the Panamanian border and had a magnitude of 6.7: strong enough to rupture the ground. The distance from us was about 105 miles. The waves I felt were not an aftershock. I determined from my Facebook messages that I had experienced the main event. The strange noises have been the P-waves that come before the S-waves that cause the tremors.
Earthquakes with this magnitude are classified as "strong" and can cause serious damage and loss of life in densely populated areas.
Thank God, the epicenter was 9 kilometers away from the nearest city. No one died, and there was only damage to buildings near the epicenter. The houses here have very thick and strong external walls because earthquakes are common.
When I understood the blessing of our security, I began praising God. He told me, "Do you remember this morning's song, daughter?"
"Oh, yes, about the earth giving way and the mountains moving. O Father, and the other song in the afternoon ... my thoughts on the earth not staying forever. You were preparing me all day."
At that moment, I realized something wonderful: I was not afraid. Also, I have not felt fear during or after the tremors. No fear!
"It is that You have shown me that You have all control, and all power, and you are always with me because I am the apple of your eyes, thank you, Papa."
"Listen to the song again,: He said.
"I'm going to listen in the morning, now I need to sleep."
Listen now. Listen now.
Finally, I heard ... and I marveled:
The Lord of Hosts is with us
With us in the fire
With us as a refuge
With us in the storm ...
Oh where else would we go but with the Lord of the Hosts? ...
The earth it moves, and all mountains
The mountains they move to the sea ....
Our God that makes the mountains melt,
Come wrestle with us and win
Although the oceans roar, You are the Lord of all
He calms the wind and the waves
And makes my heart be still. ...
Although the earth gives way,
The mountains move towards the sea,
The nations get angry,
I know my God is in control
God's message to me that morning, and at this time, could not have been clearer. I was on a mountain during a strong earthquake, in a different nation, surrounded by seas on both sides! And I was completely safe because Lord of Hosts was with me; my heart was calm.
"Hallelujah! You are my refuge."
"Do you understand that I knew exactly when and where this earthquake will occur?" He asked.
"Yes, Daddy, I understand, you know everything."
"I knew, and I put you here in this house for a purpose."
"Yes, you knew that I would be safe here."
"Anywhere, you're safe, daughter."
"Yes, because you are with me. My safest place is in my heart with you. You have taught me this. "
That night, I never slept. But this time, I did not feel anxious about my insomnia. I praised God all night.
When I heard the roosters at 3:00, I realized that, like the bugs ten days ago, these creatures were singing to God. Through them, God was singing over me again, and also through the dogs barking.
I smiled in the growing light. "How you love me, Beloved!"
It was not until this morning, three days later, that I completely understood my Father's purpose in this, nor the beautiful irony. My friend and former coworker Angie had been thinking about me and praying for me yesterday. This early morning, we talk.
"Sarah, never forget that God moved a mountain for you, God is always in control."
Tears of happiness flowed down my cheeks. "O, o, o ... Angie, you're just now putting everything together for me right now."
I explained the prayers of Juan and the verse in Mark about moving the mountain.
"God put me in this house on the mountain at the right time; he literally moved a mountain to move the mountain of fear out of my life."
Certainly, I am dust in the wind. But I know Who controls the wind!
I will never be the same.
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