In the 25 years after my first husband Byron and I divorced, our relationship gradually grew from tense cordiality to a mutual commitment to co-parenting, and finally to a friendship rooted in decades of shared experiences. Nevertheless, I was still a little surprised at how frequently I found myself thinking fondly of Byron this past Christmas season.
Starting a few days before Christmas, I kept hearing the song "Here Comes Santa Claus," and each time, I smiled as I recalled Byron walking through our house singing along with it at the top of his lungs. He always made me groan with his own silly lyrics in places, typically something involving farts. Recalling these happy moments from so long ago triggered other Christmas memories from our 11-year marriage, such as the way we liked to do all of our shopping in one marathon trip to Target.
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| Christmas Banquet, Circa 1993 |
All of this reminiscing brought me welcome joy in the midst of the last-minute frenzy that marks my shopping and preparations these days. Several times, I thought, "I should send Byron a text to let him know I'm thinking of him fondly," but each time, I simply made a mental note to text him later. There were stocking stuffers to buy, presents to wrap, food to cook, and stockings to stuff.
The last time I heard the song and thought of Byron was on Christmas morning, and I really wanted to send him a Merry Christmas message, but I didn't pause to do that during my hurried breakfast preparations, nor after Ethan, Sumer, Allyson and I had eaten and exchanged gifts. Instead, I raced to feed the cats and pack my car for the three-and-a-half-hour drive to my oldest sister's home in Nacogdoches.
I arrived late in the afternoon, just in time to open gifts with Melody's family, our mom, and our sister Amy. I thought of Byron again as we unwrapped gifts, remembering the way he'd give money to my little sister Emily and ask her to buy me a bunch of clothes. It was always so fun to see what she'd picked out; she had much better taste in clothes than I ever did.
Definitely, definitely I would send him a message on the 26th, after things had settled down, I thought.
