Many times over the last few months the thought has crossed my mind, "What if God wants me to stop blogging?" Each time, I've dismissed the thought. In my quiet time this morning, I once again asked God to help me let go of my pride. Immediately, the thought about giving up blogging recurred, but I tried to shrug it off.
"How do I know if this thought is from You, or if it's just me?" I asked. And then I remembered this devotional from Joyce Meyer: (from New Day New You, May 2nd)
"For many years, I wanted God to talk to me, but I wanted to pick and choose when to obey. I wanted to do what He said if I thought it was a good idea. If I didn't like what I was hearing, then I would act like it wasn't from God. God has given us the capacity both to hear Him and to obey Him. He does not require a higher sacrifice than obedience..."
I know that I can't ignore this nudging any longer. I'm still not sure whether it's God talking to me, but I have to be obedient. So I'm taking a break. I don't know how long it will be, or how I'll know when it's time to pick up the pen again. I was feeling very afraid and anxious about it today, but I had a good talk with God tonight, and I'm feeling at peace about it now.
If God lays it on your heart, please pray for me. Pray that he shows me any offensive ways in me and leads me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:24). Pray that He teaches me to incline my ear to his leading, and to obey without question--to delight in his commands, and to delight in his presence. I know if I learn to do that, He will give me the desires of my heart, but those desires might well be different from the desires I have now.
I love you guys. Thank you for reading.