Friday, April 6, 2012

Nothing Short of a Miracle

Here's the next chapter in my love story with Bill...
Excerpt from Allyson's Journal, 1/1/06
I think you are nothing short of a miracle. First, there's the fact that your father is from British Columbia, and I'm from Texas. Then there's the fact that we waited so long for your conception (19 months), and that my doctor didn't think I'd be able to conceive without drugs.

I'd taken an oral fertility drug when I conceived your older brother nine years ago, and I didn't want to go through that stress again. I'd prayed and asked God to give me the gift of a "surprise" pregnancy, but after a year and a half of waiting I just relaxed and asked for His will--baby or no baby, fertility drug or none.

At the beginning of October 2005, I filled a prescription for Clomid and then waited for the right time to take it. I had gone on a Caribbean cruise with your father and Ethan.
Ethan, Age 8

I was supposed to take the pills on the cruise, starting on cycle day 5, but my period was late. I didn't really believe I could be pregnant, but I was having a few symptoms, especially mild nausea; however, almost half the passengers were seasick because the ocean was pretty rough.

Still Wondering - 5 Days Late and Counting
On Friday, the last full day of our cruise, I used a pregnancy test I'd brought from home. Here is what I wrote in my journal that day:

Friday 10/7/05
I slept fitfully last night, waiting for the light, waiting to take my test. I got up around 7:30 and crept to the bathroom. I set the test stick flat on the lavatory and watched the fluid spread across the window. The reference line appeared immediately, but there was no test line at first. My stomach sank. [This experience had become far too familiar.]

But then I saw a second line, very faint, begin to materialize. I strained to see it, and yes, it got darker and darker. There definitely were two lines, though the second was lighter. I sat and smiled at myself in the tiny mirror. I didn't cry.

I climbed back in bed and snuggled up to Bill. I was too excited to fall back asleep, but I lay there for another hour enjoying my secret....

"No way! Really? For sure? Awesome!" That was Bill's reaction after breakfast when I told him he was going to be a father. We were standing on the ship's railing, looking at the water while Ethan ran around the deck. Bill gave an incredulous laugh, that little-boy laugh that I love. We kissed and hugged....

That Evening at Dinner
"Lord, how do I begin to thank you for such an unexpected blessing? You knew the desire of my heart, and you surprised me! I'm so thankful that I won't need to go through the suspense of taking Clomid.

"Thank you for all that you've taught me during these months of waiting, Father. I feel I have learned to trust you so much more. Thank you for ordaining my days. Thank you for knitting together this baby in my womb.

"Now I must learn to trust you even more. Help me trust you to keep this baby safe, to keep my body strong. Help me not to worry if the baby will be 'perfect.' I know you will form this baby according to your perfect plan, and you will make me ready to be everything my baby needs in a mother--by your grace....

"Thank you, thank you, Father, for giving us this precious gift. Thank you for blessing me among women. My heart is full today."

Allyson's Journal, 5/17/06
We learned our wonderful news at the start of October, and then we had to decide when to share our news. We wanted to tell Daddy's family in person, which meant we had to wait until Christmas. Daddy wanted to wait until then to tell my family, too, but I told him we could never keep it a secret for that long. So we decided on Thanksgiving, but it didn't work out that way.

A couple of weeks after we found out, we were all over at Aunt Emily's to help her move. I was feeling a little green that day, so I wasn't much help. And I was avoiding lifting and other heavy work like mopping. Grandma looked sharply at me and asked, "Are you expecting?"

I couldn't very well lie to my mother, so I just smiled. She and Aunt Amy shrieked with excitement and crushed me in a big hug. Then, of course, I had to tell everyone else: Emily and her girls, Uncle Rick and his family, Grandpa, and your big brother.

Ethan was busy playing when I told him, and I don't think he really heard me. He said, "Oh, that's nice." Then he went back to his playing. I was a littled disappointed at his reaction.

Later that day, he asked if I wanted to jump on a pogo stick. I told him I didn't think I should. He said, "Why not? The weight limit is 150 pounds. You don't weigh that much, do you?"

I said no, but it wouldn't be good for the baby. Ethan looked around and asked, "What baby?"

I laughed. "The baby in my tummy, silly!"

He touched my belly and said, "You have a baby in your tummy?"

I said yes, and from that point he has been very excited about your arrival.

We somehow managed to keep Daddy's family from finding out. We flew up just before Christmas with Ethan, your cousin Mindy, and my Little Sister Brandy. As planned, I wore a snug sweater and a loose jacket.
Mindy and Brandy at White Rock Beach, BC

When we got to the house, Bill introduced Brandy to everyone, and then he announced that he had another introduction to make. Everyone looked around, confused, because they'd already met Mindy the prior Christmas, and of course they knew Ethan.

I opened my jacket to reveal my growing belly, and there was lots of shouting, hugging, and crying. It was like they had won a car on a game show.
Itty Bitty Baby Belly
When we flew home a week later, we brought maternity clothes from Nana and baby clothes from Great Grandma Faye. Gram couldn't resist buying one girl outfit, just in case. I'm so glad you'll get to wear it!

DISCLAIMER: After the reaction of some of my readers to the last chapter of our love story, I want to point out that this story takes place in the past--back in 2005. No, I am NOT PREGNANT right now!

4 comments:

Gentz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Victor S E Moubarak said...

Pregnant on a pogo stick! Nice title for a song.

This is a great story. Thanx.

It's great you journal these stories for your children. Do you save them on your own PC or CD or just Blogger? Because I've heard some people have lost their posts on Blogger and other websites. Worth making copies.

Have a Happy and Blessed Easter to you and your family.

God bless.

Sarah said...

Thank you, Gentle and Victor. You know, I don't write in their journals nearly so often now that I have my blog. I need to be more diligent about it.

Victor, I actually use real pen and ink. My theory is that they will cherish seeing the stories in their mom's handwriting. But I hate having just the one copy of each volume. If they were lost I would be crushed.

Victor S E Moubarak said...

A hand-written journal is just wonderful. Worth scanning every page then you'll have a JPEG copy of every page which can serve as a second copy of the journal.

God bless.

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