I never knew how to pray the rosary with the beads, nor even what the groups of beads stood for, until my friend Gentle explained it to me. She had grown up Catholic but was attending my Protestant church when I met her.
I loved the idea of a necklace that could aid you in daily prayers and remind you of Jesus's sacrifices for us. Although I couldn't possibly remember all that Gentle showed me, I could relate to the idea. It seemed similar to the way I flip through the business cards where I have recorded the precious memory passages that God has given me over the last 17 years. While I recite the passages, I don't really look at them much, but the feel of the velvety edges from years of handling triggers an explosion of connections--memories of the miraculous and unique ways that God used to confirm each passage, of promises fulfilled, and promises yet to be fulfilled.
Often, I have to stop to praise God or thank Him for the answered prayers that I know are coming. For example, one morning in the park when I quoted, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty" (Philippians 4:12), I set the cards aside and said, "God, thank you for allowing me to experience being in need for the first time in my adult life. Thank you that this passage isn't just words for me. How can I experience the wonder of your provision if I never truly understand what it is to be in need? Thank you for this opportunity to trust you. You have always been faithful, and I know you will continue to be faithful."
If you've been reading long and you have a great memory, you may recall that I hung Laura's rosary, along with some promises from Scripture, on my car's mirror back when I was an Uber driver and aspiring teacher.
I'm sorry to report that after a few months in the Texas sun, the necklace string melted! I had not noticed that it was made of wax. I lost all the beads, but I kept the crucifix... somewhere.
To be honest, if I had a necklace of prayer beads now, I'd have to say that in recent months most of the beads would be devoted to prayer requests rather than praises. I do write a gratitude list every night before bed, and I thank God for things as small as a muffin with almond butter and raspberry jam or as big as a restored relationship.
But I have been praying for lots of things for what feels like a very long time. It has now been six months since I suffered a severe flare-up of Hashimoto's thyroiditis that led to alternating bouts of hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism and a host of painful symptoms caused by my own immune system, and five months since I have received a paycheck.
Though I have felt better and better with each passing week, I still have joint pain when I lose sleep or eat a food that my immune system reacts to. And my skin has been painfully dry this winter, more than any other year in my life--most likely due to hypothyroidism even though my energy level is good and my body seems to be in better health than I've experienced in years.
Over the last couple of months, I've struggled to keep my focus on the positive rather than focusing on my pain. I've struggled to keep my eyes and my heart fixed on the undeniable fact that God loves me more deeply than I can comprehend, even when I feel lonely and isolated.
Slowly, slowly, the balance has tipped. I now have more happy days than sad days. I smile more. I'm starting to laugh again. For the most part, I've stepped out of my funk, and I dare to believe that I am learning the lesson that God has for me in this trial.
One by one, God has been answering my prayers. Here are just a few of the things God has done for me in just the last couple of weeks.
1. A close friend to pray with and hang out with; God gave me two. For about four years, I have been praying for a special friend whom I could pray with and spend time with on a regular basis. Most of my close friends are teachers with no social life during the school term, and they live far from me. I wanted a friend who could hug me with arms.
Although I can't see her very often, God gave me a friend to pray with in Angie, a former colleague who now teaches at a different middle school. We talk on the phone 2 or 3 times a week and also pray by text. I love to pray for her, and she loves to pray for me. And we love to praise God together when He answers those prayers.
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| Angie and I clowning with a cucumber from my brother's garden back in July |
In my last entry, I told you about Pam. She has become my hanging around friend, my mass cooking buddy, and my praying-in-person friend. We are so alike that it's crazy:
-We are messy. We have piles and piles of papers that need sorting, and countless odds and ends that need to find a place.
-We love to cook healthy food.
-We love us a good kitchen gadget. I have to say that Pam is the only person I've ever met who just may own more appliances and cooking gadgets than I do.
-We are scatterbrained. I felt so bad for Pam when she wrecked her InstaPot the same way I broke my own; she poured liquid into the base without the pot in it. (Neither of us could believe that she would make that mistake so soon after I told her what happened to my InstaPot. She found one on sale at Kohl's and replaced hers within a week.)
-We don't worry about propriety when it comes to giving unusual gifts. Last Monday, Pam gave me the sweetest and quirkiest Christmas present I've ever received:
I laughed with delight over this. "Pam, you are the only other person I know who would give a partially used gift. Allyson has told me more than once, 'No, you can't give away a half eaten pie...' or whatever. Thank you so much!"
As you can see from the photo, I wasted no time carrying out Pam's plan. I ended up with about an eighth of a bottle.
I've been using the assorted spatulas for cooking, as well. Fabulous!
The other thing Pam bought me was a brand new copy of Healing Spices, the library book that I kept for the maximum of 9 weeks. Yay!!!
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| Pam and I with my gifts |
2. Broken dryer - fixed. When my dryer quit heating up a couple of months ago, I cried. Here was one more thing that I could not afford to fix. But then I thanked God that it was not the washer; my wooden drying rack could dry two medium loads per day if I set a fan to blow on it. The only thing I couldn't dry was sheets, and I was able to do that at my mom's house and at Pam's house. But Allyson voiced my internal complaints about the crispy towels.
So I prayed for help fixing the dryer, or a new (or new-to-me) dryer, and then I waited.
I guess the dryer came up in conversation at Thanksgiving. For Christmas, my brother Rick ordered a dryer repair kit and came out to fix the dryer last Sunday. I had assumed it was the heating element, but Rick's volt meter said otherwise. It took him a bit of troubleshooting--of which he enjoyed every minute--to find the real problem: a loose connection that burned out a fuse. He also found a hole in the exhaust tube and replaced it with a leftover section of tubing that I'd wisely kept when the dryer was installed.
As a bonus, he unclogged my vacuum cleaner, which was inexplicably jammed full with an assortment of rubber bands, pen and marker caps, and other odds and ends. My guess is that Ethan was the culprit; he had borrowed the vacuum cleaner for a couple of months since all I have here is an area rug and two carpeted closets.
"Tell that boy he has to at least pick up the big things when he's vacuuming," Rick said.
After that, he took Allyson and me to Cotton Patch. I think our conversation over lunch was my favorite part of this gift. Then again, as I told Rick, every time I throw in a load of laundry--especially towels or sheets--I will remember that my big brother loves me. Tonight it also occurred to me that every time Ethan comes over to do some laundry, I'll get a chat and a hug from my boy.
3. A beautiful Christmas - For the first time in a few years, I was dreading Christmas. I knew that Allyson would be heading to Canada with her dad on the 26th, and I hated the idea of being alone for a week during the holidays. Moreover, I just didn't feel Christmasy. I felt blah and bored and weary, though my body is wonderfully rested after so many weeks off work.
Just like the last Christmas that I was dreading, this one turned out to be one of the happiest I remember. I will tell you more about that in a separate entry soon, I hope.
4. A replacement for the InstaPot. On Christmas, Ethan and Sumer gave me a gently used pressure cooker they'd received from a friend and never used. I exclaimed just as loudly as Ethan had over the knife and cutting board set that I gave them.
5. Two fixed bikes - Allyson's new mountain bike, which I received from the same agency that runs the food pantry I mentioned in my last entry, had a loose shifting cable that I could not figure out how to restring. Also, the saddle on my bike had somehow rotated a bit to the right. When I rode it anyway, I injured the muscles in my left forearm (or maybe a tendon; it's healing slowly).
While I was in east Texas at my sister's house for Christmas, my friend Sharon drove over to my house with her husband and her son Peter, and they fixed both bikes, lubed the chain on my bike, and aired up the tires. By the time Allyson returns from Canada in a few days, I should be able to go for a ride with her.
I was so touched that they would spend their vacation time helping out a friend. Sharon assures me that Peter just loves fixing things--like my brother, I guess. I don't get it, but I'm sure thankful.
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| Me with my Christmas elves: Peter, Timothy, Sharon |
6. The pain in my skin has been diminishing. I've had pain in my forearms, shins, hands, and feet nearly every day ever since August; it seems to be a combination of horribly dry skin and a release of toxins through the skin. This is a common complaint for Hashimoto's thyroiditis patients.
For the last three weeks, I've been taking a special thyroid supplement that my doctor recommended in lieu of taking thyroid hormones, which my body does not tolerate well. According to the reviews, it usually takes about a month to make a difference in hypothyroid symptoms. I've noticed increased energy for the last two weeks, but it was only on Christmas day that I noticed an absence of pain in my skin.
Maybe it was the vitamins, or maybe it was a Christmas miracle. Those were the words I'd used during my bedtime prayer with Allyson on Christmas Eve. I asked God to heal my sister Amy's pain from an apparent kidney stone and my own skin pain. Both prayers were answered, on Christmas day.
7. I found a great job, probably the best I've ever had in my life. More on that in a separate entry, but for now I will say that I think the job description was literally written specifically for me. God can do that, you know!
As you can see, I could string a beautiful necklace--or at least a bracelet--with all these answered prayers. I'm sure there are many more to come, and I look forward to telling you about them.
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