Spilling Time

On my lunch hour yesterday, a bag of dried thyme burst open when I dropped it.

“I just spilled a bunch of thyme,” I remarked to Allyson as I passed her on the way to retrieve the broom from the laundry room. 

“Mmm,” she replied, eyes never leaving her cell phone screen.

“Doesn’t that sound poetic, spilling thyme?” I asked, but I was left to ponder that thought alone.

I did ponder over it all through my customary lunchtime walk in the park. What could it mean to spill time?

I first thought of wasting time, of heedlessly tossing it on the ground by using up all of my allotted daily minutes on things that don’t matter. 

I thought of how careless I was with time in my youth, when the future seemed to stretch out endlessly before me. I pictured myself wearing a backpack with a hole in one corner, leaving a trail of hourglass sand behind. How could I be 50? Where had the decades gone?

That got me to wishing I could hold onto time, which brought to mind a love song from my childhood, “Time in a Bottle.” Though I typically only listen to the music of the birds while I’m walking--and the crickets and frogs if it’s the right time of day--I just had to pull up that song. I listened twice, letting the sweet guitar notes carry me back to a carefree time when my biggest concern was wishing a boy would ask me to couple skate at the neighborhood rink, Skate Ranch.

A flood of memories rushed into my mind, like time spilled out of a treasure box. Maybe spilling time isn’t always a bad thing, I mused. The key, I realized, is spending your allotted time on what really matters. Then there are so many wonderful memories spilling over that you can’t even remember them all.

“But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them,” sang Jim Croce.

“What are the things I want to do?” I wondered. “Get out of the house,” I answered immediately. “I’m just so bored…. Boredddd, aburrida.”

For the hundredth time in these last eight weeks of confinement, I reminded myself that boredom is a luxury, and if that is the worst of my complaints, I am blessed indeed.

“Oh, I am blessed,” I said, breathing a prayer. “Lord, help me keep looking for lovely today.”

I’d been captivated by that phrase in a sermon that I heard in the Mother’s Day sermon online this past Sunday. Pastor Amy shared one of the most inspiring messages I’ve heard, about how she diligently orders her thoughts each morning during her battle with recurrent, stage four breast cancer.

Even though our minds tend to focus on the negative, she explained, if we look for the lovely in each day we will find it. For example, it’s lovely that Jesus trusts us to carry His name and represent Him. She described the comfort that she brings to her fellow patients at the cancer center. 

Amy admitted that she has hard days sometimes, but she said, “I decided I’m not going to let cancer steal my future, and I’m not going to let it steal today.”

I swiped at a tear on my cheek and scrawled a sentence in my little notebook of sermon notes, my pen carving emphatic lines into the paper. “I’m not going to let fear steal my today.”

When I look for lovely, it isn’t hard to find. Take Mother’s Day, for example. It was a joy from start to finish:

• I slept until after 9.
• Allyson made me strawberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon for breakfast. She also gave me a dozen roses, some dark chocolate, a gift card, and a hand-made card with pictures of us that she’d pulled from my blog. Best of all, she’d written the sweetest message inside.
• I listened to the aforementioned sermon and talked about it with Allyson afterward.
• I met with my siblings, Mom, Dad, and a couple of nephews for a virtual Mother’s Day gathering, during which I bragged on Allyson (of course!).  
• The weather was glorious during my walk with Allyson that afternoon, and marvelous during my evening bike ride with Jesus.
• Everyone loved the wild rice and chicken soup that I made while Allyson washed the breakfast dishes. Ethan and his girlfriend Sumer came for dinner and gave me a sweet and funny card and a Barnes and Noble gift card.

In short, it was probably the best Mother’s Day I’ve ever had.

Mother's Day breakfast

Mother's Day Card

I guess I misunderstood Allyson's instructions about our facial expressions!

Here are a few more of the lovely moments from the last few weeks.

Sumer's birthday. Allyson made the cake.

My 50th. Allyson's all-natural strawberry cake was incredible.

Ethan at my 50th.

One of the many encouraging chalk messages in the neighborhood and at the park.
"And my God shall supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus!"

Full double rainbow in the park. Reminded me of a precious time that I shared with my friend Laura before she passed away.

Rare occasion to wear makeup: a drive-up worship service (al aire libre) at my Spanish-speaking church this past Friday. What a joy!

Cutting into these giant radishes brought a beautiful surprise. I used them like tostadas for my fish tacos and fresh-made guacamole. Wow!

On a day when I was so bored I couldn't stand it, I found this bizarre scene in the park during my lunch. It was a wedding! That's the bride and her parents walking to meet the rest of the bridal party, below. Needless to say, my boredom was cured, at least for the moment.