Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Girl

It's been far too long since I wrote a post about Allyson, so I decided to take the time today to bring you up to date. I hope you will forgive me if I do a bit of bragging; I just can't help being very proud of my girl.

Allyson at Painting with a Twist

Since my post in July 2021 about her first job, Allyson has attained two promotions. First, she became a monitor during her second summer as a lifeguard, which means she could work alone to oversee swimmers and supervise the facilities at various community pools. Just a few weeks later, she became a manager, which entailed supervising other lifeguards, helping ensure shifts were covered, and handling problems with guests. At the tender age of 16, she shouldered these new responsibilities admirably. 

Allyson and Three Lifeguard Friends

Allyson in Monitor Uniform

In Manager Uniform

She has been recommended for yet another promotion this upcoming season, as a lifeguard instructor. In this new role, she will earn significantly more money and will have the opportunity to impact other young workers as they learn crucial lifesaving skills. Before she can start this new phase of her career, she must complete even more rigorous physical and academic training than when she first became a lifeguard, and she must pass tests that many other lifeguards have failed. "What if I can't do it?" she asked recently. "It would be so embarrassing to try and fail." 

"I have no doubt that you can do it," I assured her. Unlike the first time she started lifeguard training, this time I wasn't just saying that for her comfort. Over the last couple of years, she has inspired me with her determination and dedication to achieving her goals, even when she has felt anxious and unsure of her abilities. 

License to Drive

For example, she worked diligently to obtain her driver license this past September. Both of us had wondered how her driver's training would go given her sometimes overwhelming anxiety over car travel, especially in high traffic. The first time she got behind the wheel after earning her learner's permit was on a road trip to Arkansas, on an interstate packed with heavy trucks. I clutched the door handle tightly with a sweaty palm and breathed deeply as she executed pass after pass, but she showed no outward sign of anxiety. When I asked her about it, she said that she felt a lot more secure in the driver's seat because she felt more in control. She had paid close attention to her training, and she found it comforting to follow the procedures she'd learned. At the same time, she lacked the overconfidence that can make some new drivers so dangerous. She understood the gravity of her responsibility, and she was receptive to all the guidance I offered. 

Over the next six months, she was my chauffeur for every trip, whether to the grocery store two blocks away or to soccer practice on the other side of an hour's rush-hour traffic. Through it all, she stayed calm and confident, even when she missed a turn one time and unexpectedly had to navigate across six lanes of traffic in downtown Dallas, in the dark. The more challenges she successfully faced, the more comfortable I felt riding in the passenger's seat beside her. I felt sure that after all this practice, the driving test would be a piece of cake for her. 

The night before her test, however, she had an attack of nerves that made her feel sick to her stomach. I tried to calm her as she drove to the site of her test to rehearse the route and practice parallel parking. The short route posed no challenge, but the parallel parking space was much more difficult than any I've ever encountered in over 30 years of driving. Allyson had to back down a rather steep hill and swing the back end of her car sharply to the right, into a little alcove set back from the rest of the parking lot. Although she had accomplished this feat with relative ease several times over the last few days, on this night there was a small line of other prospective drivers and their parents to serve as witnesses. Feeling rushed and self-conscious, she made one mistake after another as we queued up for repeated attempts. First she was too far from the curb, and then she backed too soon and came in at a bad angle. 

I wanted to give her pointers, but since I can count on one hand the occasions when I've actually had to parallel park in the last 30 years, all I could offer was moral support. "Don't worry," I advised. "Even if you fail this portion of the test, you can still get your license, as long as you don't hit a pole. Remember, I failed my parallel parking when I was 16, but I still got my license. I passed with a 70, but hey... passing is passing! Just don't hit a pole, and you'll be fine."

"I'm going to pull forward and try again," she replied with dogged determination. 

As if I'd jinxed her, she clipped the front flexible marker as she eased back out of the space. Undaunted, she simply tried again. This time, she waited too long to start turning toward the curb, and she ended up backing into the marker at the rear of the space. 

"Maybe you should stop for tonight," I suggested. "You've successfully done this several times before, and I'm sure you can do it again tomorrow. You're just too nervous right now." 

She shook her head and circled around for another attempt. At last, she pulled in correctly. I breathed a sigh of relief and imagined a round of applause from the parents in the other vehicles waiting behind us. "Fifth time's the charm," I joked, but she wasn't laughing.

Back at home, I said a prayer for my anxious daughter and then prayed some more as I laid my head on the pillow. In the morning, I was disappointed to hear that she'd passed a very difficult night and had never fallen into a deep sleep. I prayed for her one more time and sent her on her way with her father, who'd been her official teacher in the online driver's education program.

An hour or so later, I received a phone call from my ecstatic daughter, a newly licensed driver. "I got my license!" she cried. Then she exultantly recounted the whole story. She'd performed flawlessly on the driving portion... and nailed the parallel parking! She passed her test with a 94. 

Here she is in her VW Jetta, for which she'd saved $2000 over the summer to help us buy. 

Since that day back in September, she's driven herself everywhere, far and wide. It's been a bittersweet transition for me. Now that she can take herself to and from school, to appointments, and to soccer practice twice a week, several hours a week have been added back into my schedule. But with her newfound independence, Allyson is scarcely ever home. My girl is already starting to fly the coop! 

What I am learning from this experience is to treasure every moment with her. I always remember the advice my brother's wife Diane gave me years ago when Ethan was a teen: Teenagers are like cats. You can't chase after them, but have to let them come to you. When they do, you give them your full attention, even if it's midnight and all you want to do is go to sleep. 

West Coast Trail

Another highlight of Allyson's summer was hiking 75 kilometers over the course of six days, along the west coast of Vancouver Island, British Columbia. She carried a 55-pound pack on her back, loaded with a tiny pup tent, a chair, a sleeping bag, her clothes, and all her food. She traveled with her dad, her friend Aeris and her father, her cousin Kurt and her Auntie Lisa. 

This was no walk in the park. To quote her dad, Bill: It was six days of "beach, boulders, mud, roots, ladders, cable cars, and bridges." It was rigorous, exhausting, and at times even dangerous, but they all made it out alive. It was an adventure Allyson will remember as long as she lives. 

Allyson (Front) with Auntie Lisa

One of Many Bridges

Allyson in Foreground, Freezing to Death

Allyson Hugs a Tree on Every Hike

And in Soccer News...

This year Allyson has continued to play in goal on her select soccer team and on the varsity team at school. On the select team, she has weathered the ups and downs of a very competitive position with perseverance and grace as she shares time with another goalkeeper. Each time she's in goal, she not only faces the pressure of blocking shots from extremely talented opponents, but she also has to push past the stress of constantly proving her value; if she makes too many mistakes, she might not get to start in the next game--or play at all. At times, her confidence has wavered, but she refuses to quit and she continues applying all the training she's received. All that hard work is paying off, both in a close bond with her team and in future scholarship opportunities. 

Allyson with Her Club Team, Solar (Back Row, in Hoodie)

Meanwhile, she faces a different challenge on her school team. There, she plays the whole game, every game. Because her high school is very large but not affluent, her team usually plays against teams with much better training and experience. That means Allyson often takes a beating in goal. She blocks shot after shot, making my breath catch in my throat as she leaps and dives fearlessly. Despite her formidable talent, a few goals inevitably slip by her, and I know that she often feels disheartened. But no matter how badly her team may be losing, Allyson never stops giving it her all. Nor does she collapse into a sobbing heap, as I'm sure I would do in her place! Instead, she keeps shouting encouragement to her teammates. 

Making a Save for Her High School Team

Why She Needs a Chiropractor on a Regular Basis

Exercising the Mind as Well as the Body

Another area where Allyson shows leadership is on the Academic Decathlon team, of which she is a co-captain this year. All year long, she has spent hours studying the American Revolution, both alone and with her team. She has organized study sessions at coffee shops, bringing donuts to repay her teammates for sacrificing their precious free time. 

All their hard work really paid off at the regional competition this past weekend, but that's another story. 

"Our Game Faces On at a Study Sesh Three Days Before Region"