Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wonderfully Made

The most peculiar and wonderful thing happened to me on Tuesday night. I was on the way to Ethan's meet-the-teacher night, alone, and I was thinking about a blog entry that you'll probably read in a couple of weeks. I was contemplating whether the entry needs a melodrama alert, and my thoughts were a cross between a monologue and a polite debate.

"Anyone who's been reading my blog any length of time already knows I'm melodramatic," I argued mentally. "So why do I need a melodrama warning?"

"True. I can't help it. God just made me that way," I agreed.

Suddenly, my lips began to twitch because I had the strong suspicion that God was laughing at me. I laughed along with Him. "Yes, you did make me that way, didn't you?" I said aloud. "You made me dramatic on purpose, and you like that about me."

I laughed for a good block, and it was the most exhilarating feeling. I don't ever recall sharing a joke with God before, but I hope it happens again. Once I could stop laughing, I quoted part of my beloved Psalm 139: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; I know that full well."

I thought about my basket case life, and I was actually thankful for my mercurial temperament. I realized that I love the "quirky" parts of my personality because along with the drama comes passion, and I think my passion is the core of who I am. I'm passionate about books, gardening, and cooking. I'm passionate about writing--everything from training materials to blog entries. I'm passionate about prayer and scripture memory. I'm passionate about parenting, friendship, and marriage.

The downside--which I experienced just today, as a matter of fact--is that I feel my negative emotions just as intensely. I'm prone to beating myself up for mistakes, for thinking the world is coming to an end when someone hurts me, and for suspecting a slide into insanity whenever I suffer anxiety.

Still, I don't care to step off the roller coaster. The joy of "rising on the wings of the dawn" far outweighs the agony of "making my bed in the depths" (Psalm 139:8-9).

Me, As God First Made Me

What About You?
What is it that makes you special? What is it about you that makes God laugh with delight? Did he endow you with a character trait that is both a strength and a weakness?


Anonymous said...

Special: My unconditional love for others, a considerable amount of patience, and devotion to my family and God.

God laughs with me: He gave me 7th grade boy’s locker room humor that I only share with my mom and hubby, and kiddos . It’s almost embarrassing! I am blessed to have a tolerable husband…trust me; he didn’t know what he was getting when we got married :)

Strength and weakness: I love others, even strangers with a moment of connection deeply, quickly, and continuously. But not myself so much...some days I love me, and feel connected; it is not a continuous love. (I am working on that, rather God is helping me work on that) I accept others without judgment and except them with love and compassion, but I can’t love and except myself the same way. I am my own worst critic. I am a devil’s advocate. Both sides of the coin are equally important and I can understand, relate, sympathize, or empathize with both. I often end up feeling torn and tormented because I have the: choose one side mentality and stick with it, but how can I…. there is always two sides to the coin.

Melissa Irwin said...

I am overly sappy and expressive...which has resulted in both good and bad consequences. I am intense, passionate and tearful. I love deeply and therefore I hurt deeply.

There is no such thing as unconditional love. Only God can pull that off.

Jenny from the Block said...

I'm going to have go with pride. I take a lot of pride in the things I do and try to be my best at everything I do, but sometimes I am too prideful to admit my mistakes. My husband can testify to that! And there are a lot of warnings in the Bible about pride!

Jara said...

Mine would have to be that I too am very emotional, and empathetic. I feel for others, even people I don't know and I can't stand to see anyone left out or hurting. I am also very passionate about my kids and cry often over them - whether its a good situation, or a bad one - many times these tears have completely embarrassed me - I almost cried at Kindermusik today because Kinsley was so cute and it was such a special "me and her" time:) - I forced myself not to:)

Sarah said...

I can certainly relate to the crying over your children thing! It gets even more embarrassing as they get older.

As to the question of unconditional love, I think we CAN love that way when we allow the Holy Spirit to love through us. We definitely have our moments when we reflect God's love, but it's a daily choice. And there are times when we fail miserably. But that's where GOD'S unconditional love really comes through for us.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, All I know is God made you and I very special. He made us exactly the way he wanted us to be!! We are not a mistake but precious in His eyes! Love Aunt Donna

Anonymous said...

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs:
I love people without having to have a validated reason or a human reason, I love without having a condition attached to it.

Unconditional love it has also been used in a Christian context to describe God's love for humankind through the forgiveness of Christ:
And with this, I know the love I have for people is completely through Christ and it is more His love than my own. When I was 16 years old, I was so angry with a friend who betrayed me that it was making me ill. My mom said to me, “Love is a choice, we except others fully without condition or we don’t, we simply have to make that choice.” I wasn’t in any way trying to say the love I have for others is measurable to God’s love. I just try with all my might, through God’s Grace to love others no matter what, without condition.


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