Thursday, May 20, 2010

Last Post For Awhile

This will be my last post for awhile. To be honest, I've been struggling with pride and ambition about my writing, and even though I pray about it almost daily, I can't seem to shake it. I do believe God has given me a gift for writing and stories to share, but for now I need to take a break.

Many times over the last few months the thought has crossed my mind, "What if God wants me to stop blogging?" Each time, I've dismissed the thought. In my quiet time this morning, I once again asked God to help me let go of my pride. Immediately, the thought about giving up blogging recurred, but I tried to shrug it off.

"How do I know if this thought is from You, or if it's just me?" I asked. And then I remembered this devotional from Joyce Meyer: (from New Day New You, May 2nd)

"For many years, I wanted God to talk to me, but I wanted to pick and choose when to obey. I wanted to do what He said if I thought it was a good idea. If I didn't like what I was hearing, then I would act like it wasn't from God. God has given us the capacity both to hear Him and to obey Him. He does not require a higher sacrifice than obedience..." 

I know that I can't ignore this nudging any longer. I'm still not sure whether it's God talking to me, but I have to be obedient. So I'm taking a break. I don't know how long it will be, or how I'll know when it's time to pick up the pen again. I was feeling very afraid and anxious about it today, but I had a good talk with God tonight, and I'm feeling at peace about it now.

If God lays it on your heart, please pray for me. Pray that he shows me any offensive ways in me and leads me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:24). Pray that He teaches me to incline my ear to his leading, and to obey without question--to delight in his commands, and to delight in his presence. I know if I learn to do that, He will give me the desires of my heart, but those desires might well be different from the desires I have now.

I love you guys. Thank you for reading.

8 comments:

Gentle said...

1 Peter 4:10
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

I have loved and looked forward to your postings for so long. It is not because you are an exceptional writer. (Though I do think you’re pretty great!) It is because you put it all out there for others to read. Not just the beautiful fluff and stuff, the feel good stories, and the fairy tales. You put the flaws out for all to see and the naked truth. And when you do this, you also talk about your lessons learned, what God has shown you, people see your love for others and your love for God. To me, your blogging is not prideful; you are using your gift to minister in your own way. I have related to so many of your postings and have gotten to know you better through them. You inspire me to share more of me with other people, not to brag or boast, but to be real and connect with other women, other moms. I will miss your postings for now, though I am proud of you for following your heart.

I will keep you in prayer, as I always do.
Gentle

Victor S E Moubarak said...

I pray for you and your family.

I will also look forward to your return to Blogging.

God bless you and yours. And thanx for your kindness and support of my Blog and my writing.

Vic M

Sarah said...

Gentle and Victor, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and especially for your prayers. God bless you both.

Kristi said...

I thought of you during the verses we studied in church this morning -

Phil. 2:1-11

I'll pray that God reveals something beautiful in your obedience to Him.

Sarah said...

Christi, this gives me chills. The message at my church was from the same passage, and it really spoke to me. I wondered, "Is this God talking to me directly?" So if you thought of me when you heard the same verses, I think the answer is yes.

The verses that caught my attention the most were:

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!

Thank you! I believe God just used you to confirm a message to me.

Jenny from the Block said...

Sarah I am going to miss your blogging so much. You ARE a great writer, and you are doing it in a way that glorifies God. If you are prideful, it doesn't show through on the blog. I will keep you in my prayers :)

NC Sue said...

What a beautiful and thought-provoking reflection. Thank you for opening your heart to God's voice and for sharing with us.

We will miss you, and I will pray for you.

Victor S E Moubarak said...

Hi Sarah.

You have been awarded a Sunshine Award. Please visit my Blog to collect it.

God bless.

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