Sunday, June 12, 2011

Home on the 11th

It grieves me to tell you this. My sweet friend Laura passed away yesterday morning at 6:40 A.M. It didn't come as a shock to me after watching her rapid decline, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm not even sure how much it is going to hurt because I haven't really allowed myself to grieve yet. I've scarcely cried, except at inopportune moments like waiting in the bank line and watching Ethan's slide show the day after he returned from his school trip to Washington, D.C.

It just doesn't seem real. I can't fathom that I will never go for another walk with her, or eat lunch with her, or give her a hug. And I will never get to have my picture made with her. Wish we'd gotten around to that. I don't even want to think about how her son Samuel, who turns five in a couple weeks, will make sense of this. I know that she was suffering terribly, and I know she's in a better place, but my heart aches for her family.

One thing that has brought comfort to her husband is the fact that she died on the 11th, 6/11/11 to be exact. (You may recall she felt a special connection to the number 11.) We met on the 11th (4/11/10). I saw a rainbow over her house at 8:11. And just a few days before her death, our friend Gentle found an 11th verse when she was praying over my upcoming visit with Laura:

Psalm 91:11 - For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
I had planned to whisper that verse in her ear yesterday afternoon, but those angels came and carried her home before I could get there.

And that's all I have to say for now. I think it's time to go have that cry now.

10 comments:

Gentle Lee (Gardner) Lenihan said...

Those who believe in the Lord, never see each other for the last time....keep her beautiful spirit tucked in your heart and always remember all the wonderful moments you shared.

In another post you said "It is like He pulled back the curtain and let us glimpse His beauty for a moment." That is what Laura's life was like...He pulled back the curtain, what we got to see in her, in her spirit and strength, was nothing less than God's love. She was a gift. Not only did she leave sweet memories behind for us to hold onto, but she left us reminders that though her flesh is no longer...when you see a rainbow...when you see an 11..know that her spirit soars on eagles wings and that she is in her Father's loving hand.

I love you sister,
Gentle

Victor S E Moubarak said...

I am praying for Laura and her family. May she rest in peace.

I am praying for you too and your family.

Yes, it is right to grieve and have a good cry. But, difficult as it may be, it is also important to remain strong ... for your family's sake, for Laura's family and for yourself.

Missing someone means that their presence had an influence on us and our lives. An influence for the good.

So it is right to miss Laura. But let each time you come to miss her be an opportunity to pray for her once more.

God bless you Sarah.

Sarah said...

Gentle - yes, you are right. Laura was a glimpse of God's beauty. I know I will always think of her when I see rainbows and 11s. Thank you for the encouragement.

Victor - Thank you for your prayers and support. And thank you for reminding me to pray each time I miss Laura.

jenny said...

Oh Sarah I am so sorry. I know she felt blessed to have you as a friend. God Bless.

Gentle Lee (Gardner) Lenihan said...

I really liked Victor's comment...he always has the right thing to say. I have been angry when I think of her being gone and upset with God and disapointed. In those times, like Victor said, it is best to pray...who better to go to than God?? Even if it is anger and disapointment. This would be a good time to "lay it at the alter."
Gentle

k and c's mom said...

Oh, Sarah...I am so sorry for your loss. Trust me when I say I understand what you are going through. "He will keep you in perfect peace because your mind is set on Him and He cares for YOU." Blessings on you, bloggy friend.

Sarah said...

Jenny and K&C's mom: Thank you for your support and encouragement. I love that verse. I need to keep my mind set on Him.

Gentle - I can so relate to your roller coaster of emotions. I feel not so angry, more like pouty. I've wanted to be close to God and lie at his feet crying, but I haven't felt like talking to Him yet. I need to go for a walk with Him soon.

Jara said...

Sarah I am praying for you and for Laura's sweet family! I am so sad for her son but praying he remembers only the BEST things about her! What a gift for you to have her in your life and what a gift that she had you as a friend! Thinking of ya!

NC Sue said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss of her family. We know that God has a perfect plan, but it's hard to understand and accept sometimes. I just hold on to the belief that our God - who never changes - was and is a Creator, and that He is able to create something meaningful even out of the most "meaningless" events of our lives.

May He bring all of you peace.

Sarah said...

Jara and Sue - Thank you so much for your compassion and prayers.

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