One of the beads strung on my necklace of answered prayers is a new job that far exceeds anything I’d asked or hoped for. Around Thanksgiving I finally had the courage to take an unflinching look at my finances, and I knew I had to start job hunting immediately. My original plan was to substitute teach through the spring semester and seek a position as an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher for the fall.
I wanted to substitute two or three times a week at the middle school where I taught last year, both to continue exerting an influence on my former students, who are now eighth graders, and to help out my colleagues. Very few substitute teachers will return to that school, and consequently the teachers frequently must cover each other’s classes in the absence of a sub. The job is beyond exhausting under the best of circumstances, and I know from experience how hard it is to lose one of your off periods. Since my weekly volunteer time there was typically the best part of my week, I was actually looking forward to working as a sub there.
At the same time, I had a nagging sense of unease about returning to the classroom. The stress and hard work of last year was undoubtedly a factor in the recent flare-up of my autoimmune disease, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. Although my recovery over the last five months has been dramatic, I don’t feel confident that my body could currently weather the stress of a job that demanded virtually all of my waking hours. How could I keep up with my prescribed whole-foods diet and still plan lessons, call parents, and grade papers?
Of course, I prayed continually about this. With my mouth, I repeatedly surrendered my will to God’s, yet my heart didn’t want to let go of my dream of teaching, which I felt certain was my calling. Hot tears rained on the carpet in my prayer closet many nights as I asked God for clear direction. Echoing my sister Amy’s prayers for me, I asked for the right door to open and the rest of the doors to close.
The door to substitute teaching in my old school closed with a slam that was practically audible. The district declined my application, with a form letter that informed me they’d chosen “other applicants who were more qualified for the position.” More qualified than a certified, experienced teacher? I was flabbergasted because I know how short-handed the district is, but peace pervaded my heart as I recognized this answer to my prayers. At that point, I could have applied at the closer school districts where I’d planned to seek a permanent position next school year, but I hesitated. This felt like a sign. Maybe God had other plans for me.
During a Thursday prayer meeting at my Spanish speaking church, Palabra Viva, I sobbed as I knelt at the altar. “Lord, please help me let go of everything… my hopes, my dreams, my past. Help me believe that I can serve you anywhere. If you can use me, I am yours. But please heal this hurt in my heart. I trust you. I know your plans for me are perfect. Please open the right door for me. Show me the path you have chosen for me.”
I also requested prayer about my job search. “Necesito un trabajo,” I said simply. “I need a job.”
The next day, a Friday, I updated my resume, moving the instructional design experience to the top of the Work Experience section. I meticulously detailed all of my former instructional design duties and pared down the sections for my teaching jobs.
Around 4:15, I updated the career objective in my online job app, Indeed, and then uploaded the new resume. Around 4:30, I applied for my first job, as an instructional designer of online courses for reading teachers. The job description and bullet points for the ideal candidate could have been culled from my own resume: experience as a classroom teacher (5 years preferred; that is my total number), experience as an instructional designer (I have 10 years), knowledge of second language acquisition preferred (I have recently become almost fluent in Spanish).
To make the job even more appropriate for me, the subject matter would be the science of reading, with a focus on phonics. My five years’ experience were all in a reading classroom, and I’d tutored my low readers in phonics the previous year. Still, as I clicked the Apply button, I prayed, “Lord, help me not to get my hopes up. This job seems perfect, and the pay range is wonderful, but I know your idea of perfect is not the same as mine. Only you know the job that is best for me.”
At 8:53 on Monday morning, fewer than 72 hours after I’d applied, I received an email inviting me to apply on the internal website. My heart fluttered when I read the closing line: “We would love to review your qualifications further.”
