Beyond What I Could Ask or Imagine

One of the beads strung on my necklace of answered prayers is a new job that far exceeds anything I’d asked or hoped for. Around Thanksgiving I finally had the courage to take an unflinching look at my finances, and I knew I had to start job hunting immediately. My original plan was to substitute teach through the spring semester and seek a position as an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher for the fall.

I wanted to substitute two or three times a week at the middle school where I taught last year, both to continue exerting an influence on my former students, who are now eighth graders, and to help out my colleagues. Very few substitute teachers will return to that school, and consequently the teachers frequently must cover each other’s classes in the absence of a sub. The job is beyond exhausting under the best of circumstances, and I know from experience how hard it is to lose one of your off periods. Since my weekly volunteer time there was typically the best part of my week, I was actually looking forward to working as a sub there. 

At the same time, I had a nagging sense of unease about returning to the classroom. The stress and hard work of last year was undoubtedly a factor in the recent flare-up of my autoimmune disease, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. Although my recovery over the last five months has been dramatic, I don’t feel confident that my body could currently weather the stress of a job that demanded virtually all of my waking hours. How could I keep up with my prescribed whole-foods diet and still plan lessons, call parents, and grade papers?

Of course, I prayed continually about this. With my mouth, I repeatedly surrendered my will to God’s, yet my heart didn’t want to let go of my dream of teaching, which I felt certain was my calling. Hot tears rained on the carpet in my prayer closet many nights as I asked God for clear direction. Echoing my sister Amy’s prayers for me, I asked for the right door to open and the rest of the doors to close. 

The door to substitute teaching in my old school closed with a slam that was practically audible. The district declined my application, with a form letter that informed me they’d chosen “other applicants who were more qualified for the position.” More qualified than a certified, experienced teacher? I was flabbergasted because I know how short-handed the district is, but peace pervaded my heart as I recognized this answer to my prayers. At that point, I could have applied at the closer school districts where I’d planned to seek a permanent position next school year, but I hesitated. This felt like a sign. Maybe God had other plans for me.

During  a Thursday prayer meeting at my Spanish speaking church, Palabra Viva, I sobbed as I knelt at the altar. “Lord, please help me let go of everything… my hopes, my dreams, my past. Help me believe that I can serve you anywhere. If you can use me, I am yours. But please heal this hurt in my heart. I trust you. I know your plans for me are perfect. Please open the right door for me. Show me the path you have chosen for me.”

I also requested prayer about my job search. “Necesito un trabajo,” I said simply. “I need a job.”

The next day, a Friday, I updated my resume, moving the instructional design experience to the top of the Work Experience section. I meticulously detailed all of my former instructional design duties and pared down the sections for my teaching jobs.

Around 4:15, I updated the career objective in my online job app, Indeed, and then uploaded the new resume. Around 4:30, I applied for my first job, as an instructional designer of online courses for reading teachers. The job description and bullet points for the ideal candidate could have been culled from my own resume: experience as a classroom teacher (5 years preferred; that is my total number), experience as an instructional designer (I have 10 years), knowledge of second language acquisition preferred (I have recently become almost fluent in Spanish). 

To make the job even more appropriate for me, the subject matter would be the science of reading, with a focus on phonics. My five years’ experience were all in a reading classroom, and I’d tutored my low readers in phonics the previous year. Still, as I clicked the Apply button, I prayed, “Lord, help me not to get my hopes up. This job seems perfect, and the pay range is wonderful, but I know your idea of perfect is not the same as mine. Only you know the job that is best for me.”

At 8:53 on Monday morning, fewer than 72 hours after I’d applied, I received an email inviting me to apply on the internal website. My heart fluttered when I read the closing line: “We would love to review your qualifications further.” 

It took me about three hours to complete the application, which had the same format as most of the teaching applications I’ve encountered. 

A few minutes after I’d sent an email follow-up, I received another email with instructions for the next step in the interview process. I had to watch a video about the project and answer three essay questions about what I would bring to the team as well as my views of what makes online instruction effective. This online submission was due by 9 P.M. on the following evening, but I decided there was no time like the present.  

As I sweated out those answers over the course of the next three hours, I relapsed into perfectionism and had to ask God several times to help me break free. “Give me the words,” I prayed. My one consolation was that I could reply in writing rather than recording a video, which is the process for screening interviews in the school district where I live. 

While I waited for the results of my written “interview,” a staffing agency contacted me with several contracting opportunities. One of their clients had picked my resume out of a stack and requested an on-site interview, skipping past the usual screening interview with the agency.

“They never do that,” the staffing agent said. “They really like your instructional design experience in the automotive industry and your teaching background.”

I have to admit that it felt very good to be wanted. This was nothing like my job search experience when I returned to the teaching field three years ago. Still, I hoped I wouldn’t have to face a tough choice. Either of the two jobs would be a great opportunity.

On a Monday morning, one week after I’d applied and two business days after I’d submitted my essay questions, I swallowed hard and called for an update. “I have an interview tomorrow,” I explained, “but this position is my top choice since it would combine my teaching and my instructional design background.”

“I was going to call you to schedule an interview,” the hiring manager, Lyndsae, said. “Can you come in tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes, I'd love to,” I replied. “My other interview is in the morning, and I think they may make an offer. I definitely want to talk with you before I make a decision with them.”

Lyndsae then explained that I’d be designing a lesson before my interview. I’d have 45 minutes, and I’d be using the learning management system (LMS) that my previous school district had used. I wished that I had taken the time to learn that system instead of sticking with Google Classroom. How on earth would I be able to design and build something in 45 minutes, on a platform I was unfamiliar with? A sense of peace settled over me. God would help me, and I would do my best. That was how. 

I’d scarcely hung up the phone when the staffing agency called to inform me that the really great company with the high pay and the one-year, temp-to-perm contract wanted to move my interview to 2:00 on Tuesday.

“I can’t do it,” I said. “I have another interview at 3:00.”

“Can you change the time on that one? This is a really, really great opportunity,” she said.

“No, I don’t want to change the time,” I said. “Do you think they could do the interview on Wednesday?”

It turns out that they could not, and apparently my refusal to accept their interview appointment cost me that job. Now I was back to one job opportunity, but again I felt peace. After all, I had prayed for closed doors. All I needed was one open door.

I set up a test account on the LMS I’d be using during the interview and spent the rest of the day and the evening watching tutorials on YouTube. One of the videos showed how to use multiple external sites to create HTML code that could be embedded into the LMS to produce interactive content. Bingo! Maybe I could pull this off.

The next day, I put on the same interview outfit that I’d worn to a plethora of teaching interviews and applied makeup for the first time in months; due to chemical sensitivities as well as the toxins present in most cosmetics, I generally avoid makeup these days.

I arrived about 45 minutes early and spent 35 minutes praying and studying my memory scriptures in the car. I could feel the prayers of my family and friends as I watched jets taking off and landing at the Air Force base next door. I knew that the design task would be tough, but the peace that I felt was almost surreal.

I remembered what my sister Melody had told me when I was waiting to see if the offer I’d placed on my dream house would be accepted. If God wanted me to have that house, nothing would stop me from having it. And if He didn’t want me in that house, I didn’t want to be there. The same truth applied now. If God wanted me to have this job, it would be mine. And if not, He must have something better in mind.

At precisely ten minutes before my appointment time, I approached the reception desk and asked for Lyndsae. Before the receptionist had placed a call, Lyndsae came around the corner with a broad smile. I liked her immediately. 

As we walked through the office, I stared at the multiple well-appointed kitchens and the little self-serve convenience store, the kind you find in some hotel lobbies. 

Lyndsae led me through a warren of very spacious cubicles to a tiny, windowless room normally used for webinars (live classes delivered online). Another very pleasant woman, Jodi, met us there, carrying the laptop I would be using for the design task. 

Together, we plugged the laptop in and hooked up a mouse… which would not work. We tried a second mouse, and also the mouse that I’d brought in my purse, but none of them worked. 

My heart sank. Not only would I be using an unfamiliar platform to build a lesson, but I’d be using an unfamiliar trackpad. “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m sure I can manage without the mouse.”

As I struggled to log in to the LMS on the slow wi-fi connection, I also discovered that the G key didn’t work very well. I laughed and wiped a sweaty palm on my dress pants. “Let’s hope I don’t have to type many Gs.”

“We’ll get another laptop,” Lyndsae said. “We want you to have a fair opportunity for your design task.”

So I had a couple of minutes to chat with her while Jodi retrieved another laptop… which also didn’t work. She was unable to log into that one at all.

Lyndsae smiled ruefully. “I promise that we aren’t doing this to test your response to stressful situations.” 

I laughed. “You read my mind,” I replied. “I was starting to wonder if I was in a psychology experiment.” While we waited for Jodi, who’d gone to the IT department, I told Lyndsae about a psychology experiment I’d participated in during college.

In the end, I suggested using the PC tower that resided in that webinar room. Together we got it plugged in and booted up. With trembling fingers, I accessed my Gmail account and opened the instructor’s invitation that Jodi had emailed me. 

“Remember,” Jodi said, “we’ve given you way more content than you could possibly build in 45 minutes. We just want to see how you think when you approach a design task.”

“We’ll leave you alone to work now,” Lyndsae said. 

My heart sped up as I scanned several PowerPoint slides crammed full of very dry, very technical information about the symptoms of dyslexia and how it affects English language learners differently than native speakers. 

I glanced back at my instruction sheet. I was supposed to create an engaging intro, some interactive content with stock photos, and some sort of assessment quiz. 

Engaging? I could scarcely comprehend the content myself, let alone interpret it into plain English. It would require a lot more time and thought to make this content engaging. 

I closed my eyes and breathed a silent prayer. “Quiet me, Lord. Help me think.” As I drew a few deep breaths, I told myself what I’d been telling myself for 24 hours now. This task would be hard for all the applicants. All I could do was my best. 

I started by building a skeleton of the pages. Next I inserted a discussion prompt to activate the learners’ background knowledge, a plain content page, and another page with an accordion panel, compliments of H5p.org, one of the external sites that I'd experimented with the night before. Finally, I made a review slide with true/false flip cards about dyslexia, again compliments of H5P. I was just starting to think about the quiz when Lyndsae gave me the five-minute warning. Holy crap! Forty-five minutes goes fast. 

During that last five minutes I froze up. I realized that I hadn’t inserted any photos, but there was no time now. So I spent the last couple of minutes breathing deeply and praying. “God, this is the worst course work I’ve ever designed, but I know you’re in control. If I get this job, I will know it was you. Please help me with the interview-”

The door opened again. Ready or not, it was time. As we walked through the corridors, Lyndsae apologized again for the difficulties with the laptops.

“It was no problem,” I said. “It gave us all a chance to get to know each other a bit, and you could see how I deal with a stressful situation.”

I was glad the three of us had developed a rapport because the interview went about as well as the design task, from my perspective. I felt a warm connection with both Jodi and Lyndsae, but I wasn’t thrilled with my answers to their very tough questions.

The first question was about how I set goals in my current position and how I tracked my progress. So we would be starting with the employment gap. I swallowed hard. “Finding a job and getting a paycheck” would not be a satisfactory answer even though those were my current goals.

I thought about the advice of a teacher friend who was a principal for a few years: I should tell the truth about my employment gap without volunteering too many details. 

“Actually, I’m not currently employed,” I began. “I resigned my teaching position last June and intended to find a position closer to home so I could spend more time with my daughter. But then I got sick after spending a month in Costa Rica, and I couldn’t look for a job.”

I made eye contact with each of them and smiled. “I have recovered, and I’m excited to be getting back to work now.” 

The part of the interview where I think I may have stood out is when I described all of my instructional design experience, from analyzing training needs to planning and developing a curriculum. I also expressed my passion for the project. “I have experienced firsthand the challenges of teaching struggling readers, and I want to help other teachers and their students. I love it that I can still influence students, but in a different way. In fact, I can make an impact in classrooms across Texas.”

“Yes!” they agreed. 

After Lyndsae had described the job’s many perks, including four shift options and about 40 days of time off per year, she asked what questions I had for her. 

I asked about the course development tools that they used and was impressed with their response. This job would offer me the opportunity to grow in my skills.

“When will you make a decision?” I asked.

“We want to fill the positions by the end of next week,” Lyndsae said.

We agreed that I would call for a status within a week and then Lyndsae walked me to the door. 

I sat in my car for a few minutes before I started the engine. I knew several people would be expecting a report, but I didn’t know what I would tell them. I felt… neutral. I’d felt a strong connection with the interviewers, but I had no idea what kind of impression I had made. I felt the same peace I’d felt when I arrived in the parking lot. If God wanted me to have this job, it would be mine… and I would know that He had opened the door. 

Although I had planned to keep up the job search while I waited, I never had the opportunity. Just 24 hours after my interview, my cell phone rang while I was shopping at the food pantry.

When I recognized Lyndsae’s voice, my heart skipped a beat. I gripped the grocery cart tightly as I listened.

“We are recommending you for the position,” Lyndsae said. “Before we can make an official offer, you’ll need to meet with our director. It’s not an interview, but he likes to meet all our candidates before they are hired. We never know what he will ask you about. It’s different for everyone.”

Six days later, I dressed up and returned to the large office. Once again, I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants while I waited.

The first question was, “So, what brings you here?”

My consternation must have been visible in my expression. Surely he knew the purpose of my appointment!

“Well,” I stammered. “Do you mean today, or in general?”

“In general. Why do you want to work here?” he asked with a smile, steepling his fingertips while he waited for my response. 

I felt the blood draining from my face. I’d thought this wasn’t going to be an interview! 

After an awkward pause, I managed to form a few coherent sentences. “This is my top choice because the job combines my teaching experience and my instructional design background. I like it that I can stay in the education field, and I’m passionate about this project because I’ve seen the challenges that struggling readers face in the classroom.”

After that, the conversation somehow turned to Costa Rica. We discovered a mutual love for the beauty of the scenery and the culture and chatted animatedly about our travel experiences.

Perhaps 15 minutes later, he shook my hand and welcomed me aboard.

Afterward, Jodi asked me what we’d talked about. 

“Costa Rica. He shared some crazy adventures.”

“When I got hired, we talked about dogs,” she said. 

I breathed a sigh of relief. I really didn’t care what we’d talked about as long as I got the job. 

Next, Lyndsae, who would be my supervisor, showed me the room where I would be working. We sat at a table and talked about the benefits. “We’re still working on your offer letter,” she said, “but here is the salary.”

She handed me a sticky note.

“Is this acceptable?”

I nearly choked when I read the amount. This was almost a 50 percent raise from my last teaching position, and it was nearly 10 percent higher than the salary from my last instructional design position.

“Yes,” I squeaked.

That evening, I laughed in wonder as I contemplated God’s extravagant generosity. Isn't it just like Him to give us “more than we could ask or imagine”? (Ephesians 3:20)

Selfie From the Night I Got the Job

I just finished my third week on the job (and got my first paycheck). Everything is going well, and I absolutely love the people. I hope to tell you more about it soon.