Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's Never Too Soon to Think About Wrinkles

Tonight while Bill and I were working on dishes, he got worried because it was a little quiet upstairs. He hollered, "Allyson, what are you doing up there?"

"Nuffin!" she called back.

"Why don't you come down here with me and Mama?"

"Not now!" she replied. "I'm waitin' to see what's under the eye."

"Huh?" Bill asked.

"It's a eye on TV. I want to see what's under it," she explained.

"I think she's watching Discovery," Bill surmised.

"How cute!" I said as I scraped the last bit of crusty refried beans into a Gladware container.

Technically, Allyson is only allowed to watch about 30 minutes of her preschool channel at bedtime, but we certainly didn't want to stand in the way of her education. So we left her alone while we worked on the kitchen.

Bill was washing the last two pots when I headed upstairs to check on Allyson. I was flabbergasted when I saw what she was actually watching. "You're not going to believe what Allyson's watching," I yelled.


"It's an infomercial! For wrinkle cream!"

"That's bizarre," he said.

"Yes," I agreed, just as I realized that I, too, was now enthralled. (I have to admit that I have a weakness for informercials; generally I try to avoid them like an alcoholic steers clear of bars.)

We sat side by side on the couch and watched the same trick over and over again: each model smoothed a pea-sized drop of the Youthology wrinkle cream under one eye, and we watched the wrinkles disappear via time-lapse photography. After only 90 seconds, their smile lines, bags, and shadows were virtually eliminated. It was positively mesmerizing, but I felt a little sorry for the poor folks; now their untreated eyes looked pathetic in comparison. One of the girls was my age, or maybe younger, and I'd thought she looked perfectly fine until I saw how much better she looked with the Youthology cream.

Not One Wrinkle

"I've got to have this stuff," I thought, especially when I found out it had been marked down from $118 to just $39 for a 30-day supply--AND it was only available through this TV offer. I was tempted to go right to their website, but then I remembered the time I tried ProActiv solution after watching an infomercial. Instead of clearing up my pimples, it gave me a horrible case of hives that only went away after all my skin peeled off. "Step away from the television," I urged myself.

Just then, Bill came up to take Allyson for her bath. "Please," she wheedled, "I want to watch some more. It's a good, good show!"

"Honey, it's a commercial," Bill explained kindly. "It's time for your bath." We both tore ourselves away.

Obviously, she's inherited my weakness. I just had no idea how soon it would take effect.


Anonymous said...

My dad and I are both famous for ordering from infomercials! The very first time I got hooked into it was a product called Bloussant...not sure of the spelling. It was a cream in a jar that made your breasts two cup sizes larger! I can't believe I am telling you this! You had to rub it on your breasts for about ten minutes three times a day! And it was sticky. Guess what, it didn't work :) I was 20 when I bought it and ended up chunking it after two weeks. My next infomercial product will be a brownie is super fab!

Mindy said...

haha Sarah I could really imagine you and Allyson sitting there with your eyes glued to the informercial! Luckily, I grew up knowing that 99.9% of the time those things don't work so I don't fall for those evil things (although I could buy one of those things you snap on the straps of your bra to hide them when you're wearing a tank top AND it makes your boobs look bigger).

I'm excited to see you all at Thanksgiving next week!

Jenny from the Block said...

So funny! You are a great writer!


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